Dennys Funny Quotes: Comic Jimmy Kimmels Plan To Save The U.S. Post Office

Dennys Funny Quotes: Comic Jimmy Kimmels Plan To Save The U.S. Post Office: From Denny:  These are outrageous times.  To really save the post office and pull it out of huge debt is to start sending snail mail cards, letters and packages.  Really?

Well, yeah, that obvious tactic would work and is a sensible one. After all, the post office lost over $1 billion just in the last quarter of 2012 - and that included the holiday season of which they apparently did not get much of a share of the business.

But what debt answer would be a lot more creative and fun?  Comic Jimmy Kimmel has the answer.  He advocates the President legalize marijuana and then put the U.S. Post Office to be the only guys who can deliver it.  Outrageous?  Maybe, uh, hmmm.... it's actually a monopoly idea that would work!  Yay! Capitalism at work!  :)

I Love My Psycho Kitty Large Mug

Love cats? Live with an animated kitty with an attitude? We love our pet friends.

Support Warriors Pearl Foundation - contributing to fund efforts to help homeless female military veterans come home.  Visit Denny Lyon Gifts  @ CafePress.com  -  see what's new!  Thanks for your support.  You rock!

Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious and Odd: Why Russians Dashboard Cams Catch So Many Funny Things

KGB Bar (Photo credit: larryfishkorn)

Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious and Odd: Why Russians Dashboard Cams Catch So Many Funny Things: From Denny:  When you live in a police state country, stuffed to the gills with corrupt police and politicians, the average Russian takes measures to get the record straight.

Come on; it's common global knowledge the old Cold War intelligence community - the dreaded ruthless KGB - and the current Russian drug cartels basically run Russia, though the public is demanding serious reform. The average Russian knows...

I Love My Psycho Kitty Mug

Love cats? Live with an animated kitty with an attitude? We love our pet friends.

Support Warriors Pearl Foundation - contributing to fund efforts to help homeless female military veterans come home.  Visit Denny Lyon Gifts  @ CafePress.com  -  see what's new!  

A Christmas Post: True Christmas Story: Funny Christmas Conversations

A Christmas Post: True Christmas Story: Funny Christmas Conversations: From Denny:  Think back. How much can you remember about the things your parents used to tell you about Santa? This Christmas Eve my husband and I started that conversation. Though we have been married many years there were still some things we did not know about each other.

We laughed about the incredible stories our parents told us on Christmas Eve. It was becoming a contest between whose parents were the most outrageous storytellers.

Do you remember the funny and downright lame excuses your parents used to give you when talking about Santa coming to visit on Christmas Eve? 3 videos.

Peace Christmas Star Round Ornament

Enjoy the profound Peace of the Christmas season!

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Video: Happy Dachsund Plays Fetch With Machine

Dachsund (Photo credit: stirwise)

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Video: Happy Dachsund Plays Fetch With Machine: From Denny:  Check out this hilarious dachsund playing fetch with his own play machine in the hallway of his house.  He knows exactly how to place the ball into the machine and when to start running to catch the ball as the machine winds up to throw it.

At the end of the video enters the family's little baby, sitting in the hallway, having fun stuffing the machine with a ball.  Then the dog brings another ball to place in the machine.  He politely waits for the baby first.  When the dog starts running to catch the ball down the hall the baby starts laughing.  Definitely in the Too Cute category.

Louie Pet Name iPhone 5 Case

The man about town: introducing the infamous Louie! - more pet names available, check it out!

A Truth Journal: Petraeus Scandal: Funny Colbert Weighs In Why America Is In Financial Ruin

A Truth Journal: Petraeus Scandal: Funny Colbert Weighs In Why America Is In Financial Ruin: From Denny:  Yeah, we all need a score card to keep up with the constantly unfolding Petraeus Affair of former CIA Director Gen. David Petraeus and his also married girlfriend, whom he has "known and mentored" for many years, Paula Broadwell.

Enter in the conniving loose cannon on deck, Jill Kelley, as former girlfriend to Petraeus and current girlfriend to Gen. John Allen, author of thousands of emails, and you have a real mess.  It makes you wonder if Central Command is full of generals and chippies playing musical beds.

Both Broadwell and Kelley were busy girls.  They were busy sleeping their way to the top of Central Command (CENTCOM) and possibly (strong probability) selling classified information.  There is some compelling reason all involved have hired criminal lawyers, the best in the country.  Of course, Petraeus is busy employing a public relations firm to rehab his name before the story ends.  Who else commissions a Pew Poll to find out how much the public now hates you?  Bizarre.

Women Invented Guerrilla War Women's Long Sleeve Dark Tee

Proud to be a woman or a man with a tongue in cheek sense of humor? This design is for you! "Women invented guerrilla warfare" - and the Pentagon actually thought they were the first to invent it.  Come on! :) Available in more products.

Dennys Art Sanctuary: Coolest Guitar Duet: Four Hand Exchange

Image via Wikipedia

Dennys Art Sanctuary: Coolest Guitar Duet: Four Hand Exchange: From Denny: This is the best guitar video I've seen in a long time. It's from the Brazilian Music Institute. As the performance opens it sure looks funny as the man puts his hands over the shoulder of the woman holding the guitar. Then you see four hands playing at once - and the music is as wonderful as the image is funny! Makes you wonder how long it took to practice the piece and not get all tangled up doing it.

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Beautiful Illustrated Quotations: Funny Valentines Day Video: Say I Love You X 100 Languages

Beautiful Illustrated Quotations: Funny Valentines Day Video: Say I Love You X 100 Languages: From Denny: Enjoy regular people on the street mugging for the camera and saying "I Love You!" in their language. It's a grin fest that will make your day. It's also an ad for memrise.com to visit their site to learn how to say the famous phrase in over 100 languages. Happy Valentine's Day!

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Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Video: Little Girl Pranks Her Dad to Perfection

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Video: Little Girl Pranks Her Dad to Perfection: From Denny: This little four-year-old is a kid after my own heart. OK, I used to do fun things like this to exasperate my parents too. None of which was well met either. :) I love precocious kids.

This little girl says at the beginning of the video - or sounds like, "I'm just gonna jump out and scare him."

The little girl goes to hide in the kitchen closet while the father and mother are unaware. The parents are busy looking for his car keys. This little girl is patiently waiting for Her Big Moment when the father opens the closet to look in there too. She got him good.

It sure makes you wonder who the Old Soul is in the house. Looks like she is working over time to get the parents to catch up to her. Get your laugh on!

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Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Baby and Husky Dog Singing For The Camera

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Baby and Husky Dog Singing For The Camera: From Denny:  This will have you laughing so hard.  Be careful not to fall off the chair.  Check out the father's sock foot up on the wall and hear him snickering in the background while the mother films the funny episode.

The dog is a husky and is named Angel singing along with her human, a baby named Lexi.  Lexi is so young her tongue muscles have not caught up with her thoughts she is trying to express.  It's as if the dog understands her conversation that probably goes something like this:

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Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious and Odd: Funny Video: Comic Mocks Russians and Cops Gone Wild

Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious and Odd: Funny Video: Comic Mocks Russians and Cops Gone Wild:

From Denny: Can this crazy video get any wilder or weirder? Over 6 million on YouTube laughed. It's the comics fast-paced commentary on the various videos he finds, starting off with one of a pack of Russians practicing martial arts and screwing up royally.

One Russian decides to warm up by an open fire and catches fire. Then the comic slows down the video to show you the crass surprise of how it happened. A total fail that is not to be missed. Who needs fiction when real life is a lot funnier?

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Robber Dressed as Gumby Almost Arrested For The Fumbles



Sept. 5 - San Diego Police Dept./AP

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Robber Dressed as Gumby Almost Arrested For The Fumbles:

From Denny:  Talk about the bumbling robber and hilariously funny. This silly guy goes into a San Diego 7-Eleven gas station store to rob them and the clerk refused to take him seriously. (Full story here.)

The Gumby Robber asked first for Marlboro cigarettes.  The clerk thought it was a prank and he had been punked. 

He didn't know who the 1950's Gumby cartoon character was and described Gumby to police later as "a weird greenish version of Spongebob Square Pants."

The clerk told the robber, "I don't have time for this.  I'm cleaning right now."

Dennys: News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food: Jon Stewart Lampoons Debt Ceiling Talks and Brainless Commentators

Jon Stewart, Image via Wikipedia

Dennys: News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food: Jon Stewart Lampoons Debt Ceiling Talks and Brainless Commentators: "From Denny: Only Michelle Bachmann, who is weirdly running for president, misspoke yet again. Obviously, her handler is not stuck to her like crazy glue for here is another bizarre gaffe. Who in the world doesn't know the Yiddish word for boldness? Jon Stewart goes off on her brainless commentary, probably with little ol' Jewish grannies in Florida nodding along with him in agreement.

Then there's Eric Cantor, who is in charge of the debt ceiling talks, so much so he acts like the Cock of the Walk. He loves to highlight on both Speaker Boehner and President Obama. He is an equal opportunity opportunist.

Obama finally threw up his hands in exasperation after Cantor kept interrupting Obama, three times no less, as he tried to end the meeting and schedule the next one. Will the real grown-up please stand up?"

Dennys People Watching: Funny Actor Tom Hanks Does The TV Weather, Larry Crowne Movie Trailer

Dennys People Watching: Funny Actor Tom Hanks Does The TV Weather, Larry Crowne Movie Trailer: "From Denny: Funny actor Tom Hanks stopped in at the Spanish news network, Univision, to do more than Show 'N' Tell for his new movie. He and the weather newscaster danced their way through the weather cast. Total silliness and funny. The man loves his improv.

New movie 'Larry Crowne' starts in theaters this weekend and features Julia Roberts and Tom Hanks."

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Video: Cat Ferociously Barks, Not Meows, To Protect House

Tough kitty

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Video: Cat Ferociously Barks, Not Meows, To Protect House: "From Denny: Talk about hilarious! I've had cats with this level of ferocity to protect but never one that barked. Mine were more like silent ninja types that were ready to lop off an intruder's head. Cats are fiercely loyal to The One that fills the food bowl and gives proper cat head massages.

But I digress... This crazy female cat is one fierce Queen! She barks at the cars that pass by her house - and it's non-stop barking no less. What's really funny is she sits up in an open window to do her sentry watch, fur bristled out to look larger than she is - sort of like when an ant stands up on a leaf to appear larger to intruders.

When the cat owner comes up with a video camera to record her unique style of 'watch-dogging' - and the cat is busted for barking - the cat starts meowing like a normal cat should. It's like 'You blew my cover, dude, now I have to look like a wimpy kitty for the camera.'"

The Social Poets: Funny Colbert Interviews Janny Scott About Obamas Mother

A Singular Woman: The Untold Story of Barack  Obama's Mother

The Social Poets: Funny Colbert Interviews Janny Scott About Obamas Mother: "From Denny: Colbert tries to nail down the mysterious  person of Obama's mother, Ann Dunham, since the President has so far been unwilling to talk about her. It sounds like he had, perhaps still has, mixed feelings about his relationship with her.

A Singular Woman: The Untold Story of Barack Obama's Mother


Apparently, she met and married Obama's father in Hawaii when she was only seventeen years old. Hawaii is a multi-cultural state where interracial relationships are not the scandal as on the mainland. Though even back in the 1960's it raised some disapproving eyebrows. But she was a trail blazer."

The Social Poets: Funny Jon Stewart On Weiner Sex Scandal: The Wangover Part 2

The Social Poets: Funny Jon Stewart On Weiner Sex Scandal: The Wangover Part 2: "From Denny: So why does exhibitionist Congressman Anthony Weiner wonder why everyone is suddenly paying attention to him? Yes, that is the burning media question of the day.

What's more, with all his fellow Democrats piling on, who is left to defend the hapless indefensible Weiner? Well, there is always fellow Congressman Charlie Rangel. Jon Stewart does a great Rangel imitation. Though Rangel does have several good points: 'He doesn't go with prostitutes. He hasn't molested little boys. He doesn't do a wide stance in an airport bathroom.' Well, yeah.

Of course, this week yet more naked photos of Weiner and his proud 'stance' were revealed, photos taken in the House members-only gym locker room. I wonder if those photos were from the security cameras that show Weiner taking pictures of his weener? Talk about strange."

The Social Poets: Funny Stephen Colbert Mocks The Debt Ceiling Angst

Stephen Colbert on the debt ceiling ridicule

The Social Poets: Funny Stephen Colbert Mocks The Debt Ceiling Angst: "From Denny: Only Colbert would dare to take on the angst riddled politicians and political strategists when it comes to the debt ceiling in need of raising its proverbial roof. Colbert: 'Hey, President Bush did it in 2002, 2003, 2004, 2006, 2007 and twice in 2008.'

He goes on to reveal the hypocrisy of the Republicans in blocking the debt ceiling bill the Democrats were supporting. Never mind it was the Republicans who introduced this same bill. Yes, the Republicans stood up against themselves and voted down their own legislation. Hunh?

Who needs to go to political blogs for the explanation of the truly weird American politics reality show when you can get it from Colbert or Jon Stewart?"

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny End Of The World Cartoons, Late Nite Jokes, Funny Videos

Photo by I'm Fantastic @ flickr

 

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny End Of The World Cartoons, Late Nite Jokes, Funny Videos: "From Denny:  Like any responsible journalist I was waiting to make sure the end of the world did not arrive so I could report on it. Now that the end of the world has been rescheduled by an 89-year-old senile pastor until 21 October 2011 all news personnel are free to make mock."

Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious and Odd: Satire From The Onion: Obama Refrains From Obliterating Human Race

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious and Odd: Satire From The Onion: Obama Refrains From Obliterating Human Race: "From Denny: With the Republicans unintentionally doing The Onion's job for them in the satire department it doesn't take much to write the comedy these days. The GOP is on The Implosion Trail politically with their latest ideas about 'health care.' They are committed to Rep. Paul Ryan's ridiculous health care legislation when 90 percent of the country hates it. Yet the GOP is dug in, stubbornly refusing to budge.

It's always something with this not so bright crowd. After they view their poll numbers in the toilet these guys still insist upon flushing again and again. It boggles the mind. So is it any wonder The Onion is dancing on their heads whenever they criticize Obama? Take a look as The Onion reads you the week's headlines:"

Dennys: News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food: Funny Video: Colbert Claims Obama Takes Credit for Bin Laden Death

Dennys: News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food: Funny Video: Colbert Claims Obama Takes Credit for Bin Laden Death: "From Denny: Only satirical Colbert could sound outraged about the death of a terrorist and how he was buried in proper Muslim tradition and sleeps with the fishes now. Colbert says he is 'outraged and he is not the only one whose rage is out.'

He goes to Fox News clips of various talking heads upset Obama was respectful of Bin Laden's body. Colbert suggested they basically 'bring back the body, stuff it with candy, and let Mexicans swat it with a stick.'

Colbert via Glenn Beck goes on to discuss how President Obama received a nine point approval rating bump from the news Bin Laden is dead. To hear Glenn Beck tell it, George Bush or even a simple shoe that ordered the Bin Laden mission - they both would have gotten the approval bump. A shoe? Guess Glenn Beck doesn't think too much of his one time hero, George Bush 43. Of course, Colbert wants to know if that shoe is a Republican."